From its stunning Beaux-Arts buildings, to its sweeping, shaded walkways, to its seaside backdrop, there’s no doubt that the Yard’s beauty is both inspiring and breathtaking. To the 4,000 or so midshipmen training to become America’s future naval leaders, romance is not the main draw. Still, friendships blossom here, especially by virtue of how bonded the Brigade becomes in order to operate as a seamless unit. And sometimes, those friendships blossom into love. This is one of those stories.
This story has an unusual trajectory, and it’s also fascinating since the protagonists are the first USNA graduates to tie the knot at the USNA. Meet Scott and Pamela Rodgers (née Wacek).
Pam was in the first class of women at the Academy, which started there in 1976. After completing her plebe year, she was in Youngster (sophomore) cruise training when she first met Scott. He was a Firstie (senior), who was training the Class of 1981 during Plebe Summer. As Scott relays their story, they saw each other six months later one night in King Hall and they agreed to talk over the weekend in her room. Rules dictated the dorm room door had to be fastened open, and the two talked for quite awhile, ultimately deciding to take a weekend trip to nearby Washington, D.C.
Scott recalls their early days, “We kept it very low key… We would meet in each other’s room (again with the door open, which generated interest), occasionally go to Steerage to get a bite to eat, or go to Dahlgren Hall.” With women newly admitted to the Academy, there was a lot of attention surrounding romantic relationships, and Pam and Scott wanted to be respectful of this. Despite the obstacles, their relationship grew, and when Scott graduated and was commissioned as an ensign, they continued dating long-distance during her junior year.
The couple knew they wanted to be together long-term. “I proposed one morning during breakfast at my apartment in Pensacola when Pam was down for First Class Cruise aboard the training aircraft carrier Lexington,” Scott says. “We were engaged her whole senior year.”
He reflects on the challenges of the relationship at that time, “We had a few months together dating at the Academy followed by two years of a long-distance relationship/engagement. Back then there was no email, text, FaceTime, Zoom, etc. It was the occasional get-together either at the Academy or in Florida or Corpus Christi, Texas where I was during flight school—or long-distance phone calls. I guess the occasional card or letter too.” It certainly was not easy. But their relationship endured.
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He goes on, “Being the first grads to be married was not something that we planned, and it was pretty much what any other chapel wedding was like I’m sure.” Pam walked down the aisle in a traditional wedding dress instead of donning her uniform, and Scott wore his dress whites.
The couple was excited to begin their new life together, and they especially chose a graduation wedding so they could be stationed together. Since Pam hoped to be in the Marine Corps, but thought it would make it difficult for them to be stationed together, she selected Surface Line (at the time, women weren’t allowed on combatant ships). Scott had just one week of leave from flight school to watch her graduate and then get married; then he returned to Pensacola for a few more weeks before earning his wings. Suitably, it was Pam who pinned on his aviation warfare pin. There wasn’t time for a honeymoon; he was heading to NAS Miramar in San Diego next, and Pam received orders to a Destroyer Tender there too.
Their long-distance days were back. “Which brings me to the unhappy part,” says Scott. “We were married and living in San Diego for eight months when Pam deployed to the western Pacific and Indian Ocean for six months. It was very hard, as it took six weeks for a letter to be sent and a reply returned. When she returned, it was decided that marriage was too hard under the conditions, and we got divorced at the two-year point. Between my time on an aircraft carrier and her sea time, we were physically together less than half that time.”
Life moved on for both of them. Pam got remarried—to an Academy graduate. Scott also remarried—a woman whose dad was a USNA graduate. Yet they never forgot about each other. “Over the years that passed, I would see occasional input in the Class of ‘80’s news page of the alumni magazine Shipmate,” he says. “It turned out she would read something about what I was doing…. We knew we were young and foolish, didn’t know each other very well, and our married life was difficult,” he says. “Long story short—we both got divorced again, me after sixteen years and Pam after 26 years.”
The two had kept in touch here and there through birthday, Christmas, and New Year’s greetings. During Thanksgiving weekend of 2008, Pam let Scott know her marriage was ending, and they met up to commiserate. “We had not seen each other for 26 years, and it was like we had been on separate vacations for all that time, familiar but strange for sure,” he says. “We have been back together now since that day.”
Almost thirty years to the date of their first wedding, they married again on May 15, 2010, this time on the beach near Pensacola. “We thought about getting remarried on the same day but thought that might be a little weird as it was weird enough already,” Scott laughs.
He realizes how special his story is.
While their wedding was historic by many measures, it was even more unique for being repeated thirty years later. Scott says, “many people have told us we need to write a book; I just tell people you don’t get many second chances in life, and we got one.” Pam is now a physician in the Pensacola area and Scott is a retired airline pilot. The two have a son and daughter from Pam’s first marriage and two daughters from Scott’s first marriage. They also have four grandchildren, with another on the way.
While they celebrate the more recent anniversary date, they also recognize the first. Scott notes, “This coming May will be our 15th anniversary (and our 45th).”
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We congratulate Scott, Pam, and all the graduates who have gotten married at the USNA Chapel. It is a special place, and the Yard continues to be a special home and inspiration for wedding proposals and wedding proposal ideas. Come visit and be a part of the history here. Your presence gives back to the Brigade, since your USNA tours, dining experiences, and shopping provide proceeds to fund extracurricular activities like cultural arts, music, theater, and club sports. Spend some time on the Yard—and perhaps you’ll see how truly romantic it can be.